13 YEARS

Yes, It has been around that long. It has seen it good days. Now, it is languishing in that area between time and a dimension that has yet to be discovered by scientists of various fields.

The kids are all grown up. Abang is back in Malaysia, pursuing his last semester at Monash, far away from Carleton where he spent four years. Adik is into his second semester at Taylor's U. He is pursuing his study in Mass Comm there. Both are staying with Atuk and Nenek, keeping them company. The two cats, Chitty and Snowy are their two companions.

Baby Faim is here with us. Beginning his high school years here without the constant teasing of Adik. Making new friends and also the best companion for Ibu. Me, still the same although now I have more time for Ibu at home. Hope she is happier to see my face more often and my constant nagging for some kind of delicious food only available back home in Malaysia.

I guess things are going OK at the moment. I am watching my diet as I must per the doctor's advice. It has been three and a half year since. Am not out of the woods yet but am thanking God for every single morning that I could wake up and see the sunshine. And, keep on praying in the middle of the night when He decided to remind me and nudged me from the bed.

Well, there's not much to say any more, I guess. Except for the very few attempts to remain creative, I can't seem to have that discipline to write diligently as before.

Hmmm... maybe I can ask Adik to write here instead... OK, I'll go ask him!

Till then, bye for now.

Kebangsaan

NASIONALISME

Kawan
masihkah kita
bersama kuyup
dalam reribuan jatuhan butiran hujan

Kitakah
bertuli telinga
dalam dentuman guruh yang gagah
petir bertempik perkasa

Kitakah
memohon perlindungan dari Nya
di tengah silihan ganti
kilat yang meyabung

Kawan
masih aku si bongok
mencacak tegak berdiri
melaung kembali ke langit

ALEXI

Tubuh Alexandra terbaring kaku.

Darah berlumuran memerah pakaian jururawat yang ditubuhnya. Aku campak raifel Arisaka yang sudah kehabisan peluru dan kepanasan ditanganku. Segera aku merangkul tubuh Alexi yang masih bernapas perlahan.

' Alexi ini aku. Bagaimana kau?', cepat aku bertanya sambil cuba menahan darah yang telah lama mengalir.

' oh... Johan, benar kah engkau? Kau lambat lagi, Seperti biasa ', ujar Alexi sambil cuba membuka mata dengan sangat sukar sekali.

Itu cerita hidup ku. Tapi aku akan sentiasa ada.

Alexi batuk. Aku tau dia akan pergi meninggalkan aku.

' Bertahan la. Biar aku bawak kau mendapat rawatan', kata ku perlahan kepada Alexi. Sangat ironik kerana kami memang sedang di dalam hospital sebenarnya.

' Tidak mengapa. Aku rasa tidak perlu lagi. Kau harus pergi sebelum mereka datang lagi. '.

' Johan...' , Alexi memanggil halus.

Aku terdiam menunggu.

 ' John tiada denganku. Aku sudah beri kepada Uncle Maurice untuk dibawa ke Darwin ', Alexi memaklum kepada aku. Dia tahu aku ingin mengetahui.

' Kau sepatut ke Darwin dengan John ', jawab aku.

' Ya tetapi Ismail adik kau ada di sini. Dia sudah naik ke Bukit semula waktu aku sampai. Macam kau, dia degil. Ingin terus berjuang walaupun penuh luka-luka', Alexi memberitahu.
' Jadi aku jangka kau pon ada berdekatan sini', tambah Alexi lagi.

' Aku baru turun dari sana juga. Bukit itu berkeliaran dengan anak buah Mutaguchi ', jawab aku tanpa perlu bercerita lebih panjang.

' Johan aku mahu kau berjanji. Kau cari John dan jaga dia dengan sepenuh hati. Tunjukkan dia tempat kelahirannya. Timbulkan kasih sayangnya kepada tanah air ini. Dan bisikkan selalu bahawa ibunya sangat sangat menyayangi dan akan sentiasa merindui dia. Boleh Johan?' , Alexi meminta aku berjanji.

' Jangan berkata begitu. Kau akan pulih. Aku akan bawa kau berjumpa dia. Mari... ', aku cuba membujuk.

' Kau tak pandai berbohong Johan. Kau selalu lambat dan kau paling tidak pandai berbohong. Tapi kau mempunyai senyuman yang sangat menawan. Senyum pada aku Johan. Sebelum aku mati di sini. Di tanah kelahiran aku. ', lemah sekali suara Alexi.

Aku cuba senyum. Tapi mulutku terasa pahit. ' Aku berjanji ', jawab aku.

Alexi senyum memandangku. Dan terus menghembus napas terakhir.    

BEING A FATHER

I think I am a good enough father. Not the best. But, that's what I think and that's what I believe to be true. I have no shame in admitting it. I don't aim to be an excellent father but I do want to make sure that I have done the best that I possibly can to raise them as I deem fit.

' Ayah, you are not the best father yet ', Faim beritahu aku dengan selamba semasa kami bermain karom ujung minggu yang lalu.
' Oh, I know that. It's ok but I will keep on trying ', jawab aku endah tak endah.
' You will have to be more like ... err ...um ', Faim cuba menambah tergagap-gagap.
' Like what... like father Christmas? ', aku mendongak dan pintas cakap Faim.
' Yea.. hihihi ', Faim tersipu-sipu.
' And how can I be like that? You want me to wear Santa Claus costume everyday. or the pilgrims ', aku mula mengesyak sesuatu dari Faim.
' Err.. no need. No need ', Faim mengeleng-geleng kepala dan mengoyang tangan. Muka dia tersengeh.
' How?', aku nak tengok ke mana Faim cuba membawa dialog ini.
' Well, in the spirit of thanksgiving.. maybe you can consider buying me this game online.. maybe? ', Faim menambah dialog tanpa merenung kepada aku. Seolah soalan pertanyaan itu tidak penting.
'  Yea.. maybe ', kata aku terjerat.

AKU DAN IKAN

Semalam aku berjumpa
se ekor ikan di sungai tenang
berenang bebas di lubuk sepi
riang tertawa sangat gembira
menyapa aku dengan siraman air
memercik ke muka membuka mata

melihat aku ikan bertanya
tuan di sini mencari apa
ikan yang ada hanya sahaya
ikan lain sudah pergi
ke laut luas mencari hidup
tanpa pamitan tanpa salam

Ini tempat aku kan bahagia
walau hanya terkadang dibanting ke batu
walau mungkin sesekali dihumban ke dasar
aku tak mengapa
kerana aku tahu di laut sana
airnya masin penuh gelora

ACIK

Kepada Faim, Abang Naim ialah Acik sebab dia abang kecik dan Zaim tu abang besar dia. Kepada Zaim pula, Naim ialah Adik sebab Naim la satu-satunya adik dia selama 6 tahun hingga Faim lahir. Jadi di rumah ini si Naim ni ada tiga nama berasingan, Naim, Acik dan Adik. Ditambah pula nama gelaran kesukaan di sekolah yang kadang kala bila kawan-kawan dia sebut aku pon tak kenal itu nama dia.

Diam tak diam, Naim sudah mengakhiri zaman persekolahannya. Usia dia dah menjangkau 18 tahun. Kami sekarang sedang sibuk mengatur fasa seterus kehidupan beliau. IsyaAllah, bulan Ogos ni dia akan melangkah ke alam pendidikan tinggi mengikut bidang yang dia gemari dan yang kami pon tidaklah terlalu gusar.

Tapi kalau dulu Abang perlu meninggalkan kami apabila menyambung pelajaran di luar negeri, Kali ini, Aku, Ibu dan Faim pula yang akan berhijrah sementara Adik menyambung pendidikan di tanah

air dan tinggal bersama Atuk dan Nenek. Tapi Adik juga akan ditemani oleh Abang yang akan pulang menyambung penggal terakhir pendidikan di Malaysia setelah bergelut empat tahun di negara sejuk membeku.

Aku tahu masa seperti ini akan tetap sampai. Dan dari semenjak kecil aku dan Ibu selalu bercerita dan bersiap untuk menghadapi. Acik lebih lembut peribadi dan emosi nya dan lebih mudah terkesan atas sesuatu. Kami punya keyakinan berubah-ubah kalau dia boleh mengurus diri tanpa kami di sisi. Berbeza dengan Abang yang mempamer ketegasan dan keberanian dalam menghadapi sesuatu masalah. Alhamdulilah, kini bila ketikanya semakin mendekat, aku dan Ibu yakin bahawa Acik boleh mengurus diri dengan cara dan gayanya sendiri. Pandai membawa diri.

Dan, Abang bolehlah memberi petunjuk sesuai dengan nama yang kami beri sewaktu lahir sebagai pemimpin.

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

Aku sampai ke rumah Jumaat lepas seperti biasa sewaktu Faim sudah mula proses untuk tidor. Memandangkan dah agak lama aku tidak berkesempatan berbual dengan anak aku yang dah hampir menjangkau 12 tahun ini, aku pon cepat-cepat masuk ke bilik Faim.

' Are you going to sleep already, Faim?', tanya aku.
' Nope. I am going to tanam padi', jawab Faim meniru gaya Ibu menjawab bila aku selalu sangat tanya Ibu sedang buat apa selalu.

' Óh.. You are copying Ibu now ya', aku mengusik.
' Hehehe.. I'm just teasing you, Ayah. Yea I am tired but cannot sleep yet', jawab Faim.
' Let me tell you a story, so you will fall asleep easier', aku kata kepada Faim. Aku terus berbaring sebelah Faim.

Dulu masa Faim masih kecil memang aku rajin bercerita kepada dia sebelum dia tidor. Kadang aku cerita untuk kedua-dua Acik dan Faim sekali masa mereka masih lagi berkongsi bilik. Sekarang Acik dah tido di bilik sendiri. Bilik Abang yang lama.

'No, Ayah. Let me tell you a story', Faim menawarkan kepada aku pula.
' OK', jawab aku sambil berfikir. This could be fun.

Faim pon berpaling mengadap aku dan mula membuka cerita,'Once upon a time, a boy is trying to sleep but his dad came and ask to tell the boy a bedtime story. But, the boy is so tired so he asked to tell his dad a story instead...''

'Hey, what kind of story is this', aku memotong cerita Faim. Anak 12 tahun aku ni memang sangat nakal dengan idea.

Faim tidak menjawab cuma tergelak kecil,' hihihihi'.
Aku pon tergelak sama,'hehehehe'.
'Hehehehe'sana, 'hihihi sini'... sedar sedar bilik dah gelap dan jam Garmin aku menunjuk pukul 2.30 pagi. Aku terlelap rupanya masa tergelak-gelak dengan Faim. Aku pon bangun dan pergi ke bilik air. Aku belum solat isya lagi.

THE BIG 12

This year the blog is 12. And so is Faim. The little Baby that grows up with it. 

The blog was truthfully inspired by Abang. He was the one with the wise words. Age 10 at that time. He was the inspiration and the motivation. Then Adik became the and later Baby Faim. Now, my interactions with them has become lesser as they pursue their own interests. Mostly their laptops and the smart phones. 

Nothing much to say though. Just praying that everything would be fine for this not so little anymore family of mine.

MEI LING

Aku memandang muka Mei Ling. Dia tunduk seketika. Dia mengambil sapu tangankecil dan mengesat matanya yang sedikit berair.

‘Kau sungguh nak balik ke Muar?’, aku ulang pertanyaan aku tadi bila melihat dia masih ragu untuk menjawab.

‘ Ya, pakcik aku nak pindah ke Singapura. Sudah tiada siapa nak menjaga Ibu-bapa aku selepas Abang aku lari masuk ke hutan’, jawab Mei Ling akhirnya. Aku masih ternampak sedikit keraguan pada raut mukanya.

Aku faham keputusan Mei Ling. Semenjak Abangnya lari ke hutan mengikut rakan-rakan pejuangnya, tiada siapa yang menjaga kedua ibu bapa dia di Ulu Muar. Sebagai anak yang bertanggung jawab, Mei Ling rasa perlu untuk pulang. Walaupun aku yakin keadaan tidak akan selamat bagi dia dan keluarga dalam masa seminggu dua. Jepun sudah mendekati Kuala Lumpur dan penyuluh-penyuluh British menjangka mereka akan menunjukan diri di Mersing line dalam kurang dari seminggu. Semua bala tentera British sudah berundur dan mula membuat benteng pertahanan si Sungai Muar.

‘Mei Ling, kau janji pada aku. Kau balik dan bawa ibu bapa kau ke sini. Ke Johor Baru. Kemudian kita usahakan untuk kau sertai Pakcik kau di Singapura. Kau tak selamat di sini. Lihat apa yang mereka dah buat di Nanking.’, aku tegas kepada Mei Ling. Aku nak dia setuju terus. Aku tenung wajahnya lagi. Masih ada keraguan.

‘Jangan risau. Aku akan minta sahabat-sahabat aku untuk mencari Abang kau dan beritahu tentang keluarga kau. Malah aku rasa mungkin dia lebih selamat dengan rakan-rakan itu’, aku cuba tambah keyakinan kepada Mei Ling.

Lama dia berdiam menunduk muka memikirkan semua yang aku sampaikan. Tak lama kemudian dia perlahan menganguk sambil mengangkat muka menantang mata aku.

‘ Bagaimana tentang Alexi? Kau tau dia di mana? Baik kah dia?’, Mei Ling tiba-tiba bertanya. 

‘Terakhir maklumat aku dapat dari rakan wartawan aku di Kuala Lumpur, Alexandra dan pasukan Palang Merahnya sudah mula berundur dengan tentera-tentera India ke selatan. Insha Allah, dalam sehari dua, aku yakin dia akan sampai ke sempadan Johor’, aku beritahu Mei Ling dan pada masa yang sama juga meyakinkan diri aku sendiri.

Mei Ling akhirnya bangun dan melepas tangan dari gengaman aku. 

DANCING IN THE DARK

Despite my really tired, totally exhausted condition, I forced Ibu to drive me to the Stadium to watch JDT game last Saturday. Ibu who has just arrived from picking up Faim from a friend's birthday party only had enough time to pray and a gulp of water.

'Don't worry I'll get you the usual burger from the Stadium', I said with full confidence.
Ibu just nodded and focussed on her driving while I directed her to our destination using Waze.

After not more than 30 minutes, the Waze informed us that 'you have reached your destination'.

I was confused. Something must be wrong.

Ibu quickly asked, 'why is the stadium dark, Ayah?'. Are you sure they are playing here?'.

I had to think fast. Quickly I checked FAM website. Several cars were slowing down and zipped by without stopping. Obviously as confused as we were.

Éh.. Ibu, they moved the venue to Selayang la. 'They are not playing here', I said quickly without raising my head.

Ibu laughed out very loud.

'Why are you laughing, Ibu', I asked slightly hurt.

'Well, I heard of Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark. But Playing Soccer in the Dark is totally brand new', Ibu answered.

I look out the window sheepishly and said, 'Let's just go'.

11 YEARS AND RUNNING

"That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town ...."  

It has been 11 long years.

Alfaim the baby in Ibu's tummy when this blog was first conceived is now getting to be 11. He is still a baby to us though. Adik soon will be 16. Slogging through his study.In a year and a half he will complete his high school and then another phase of his life will open up. He will remain a delightful challenge to us. Abang is doing as well as he could in his study at Carlton. He is coming back for the Summer holidays this May. I need to ensure that this time I'll have more time for him.

Ibu is still the same. A little older and much wiser. I can always avail myself of her wise counsel. I thank her for her able running of the household. While I could focus on my things to do.

Last year remain a tough one for me. I am still in recovery phase. Physically, I don't feel much different than a year before although every kind soul keeps reminding me to take things easy, lower paced. Occasionally, things that are unseen would disturb me. That's when I start to worry others. I think I can manage that now, difficultly.

After I left the hospital, and after two months of taking things slow, I began on a quest to do Broga. I climbed whenever I had the opportunity, weekends, public holidays or even when I was on sick leave.  My target; 52 Sundays since two September ago. Last September I achieved just that. And then ventured on  a another  forward looking self motivating journey. I started entering running events. My target is to collect 12 silverware to probably signify 12 months or another one year of survival. I have collected 9 so far and have 3 more running to complete before I probably go on another similarly natured quest.

Early this year, I lost a friend and a mentor. Same illness.

Here's looking at another year of a fulfilling life...

" For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. "

~ Forrest Gump

Faim the Defense Lawyer.

Aku menuruni cerun mengekori Faim yang mendahului di hadapan. Sambil merentas halangan kami juga menyelit sedikit sebanyak bercerita. Satu ketika kami berhenti rehat kerana Faim mahu meneguk Gatorade.

'You got another speeding ticket, Ayah?', tanya Faim.
'Yea', jawab aku pendek. Mesti Ibu yang kepohkan kepada dia ni.
'You better pay Ayah, or I will have to defend you in court later ', sahut Faim pula.
'You need a lot of training and experience before you can be a lawyer. But yes, I would want you to defend me. Err.. How you are you going to defend me? You plead guilty, and I ll go to jail?', tanya aku sambil sedikit tersengeh kepada Faim.

'Well, I think I have a good defense for all your speeding', jawab Faim sambil menyerah kembali Gatorade ungu kepada aku.
'What is it?', tanya aku sambil menyambut dan menyimpan botol pada bag yang aku galas.

'Muscle spasm', jawab Faim selamba sambil berpaling meneruskan perjalanan.

Aku bangkit dan mengekori Faim sambil ketawa dalam hati.

Alexandra

Aku bergegas menuruni bukit menuju ke arah belakang. Lutut kanan aku yang merah berdarah melambatkan gerakan aku. Aku tidak peduli. Bukan sebab ia tidak menyakitkan, Tetapi luka dan cedera di lain-lain bahagian badan membuat aku tidak memperdulikan.

Jauh di sebelah kanan, berkepul-kepul asap dari loji  Normanton yang terbakar meluru dan menutup pemandangan dan menyesakkan paru-paru. Tapi, aku tidak punya masa untuk meneliti itu semua. Aku harus segera sampai ke Alexandra.

Akhirnya aku sampai juga. Tapi aku sudah terlambat. Mereka sudah lebih awal tiba dari aku. Kedengaran suara-suara halus menjerit dalam kesakitan dan ketakutan, meminta tolong. Aku tak tau samada itu suara pesakit atau suara jururawat. Mungkin antaranya suara Alexandra.

'Alexi, di mana kau', aku bertanya dalam hati sambil mengagahkan langkah aku masuk dari ruangan tepi rumah sakit. Tangan aku memegang erat belati Kepten Rix. Darah masih mengalir deras dari kaki kanan ku meninggal jejak garisan merah.

Perlahan aku menolak daun pintu dan melangkah dengan sangat berhati-hati. Melihat ke dalam, aku tidak terkejut. Badan-badan yang kaku bergelimpangan dan berselerakan. Darah merah seolah tersimbah di serata penjuru. Hasil tangan anak buah Mutaguchi. Aku yakin.

Aku sentuh salah satu sosok yang tergelimpang. Suam-suam. Baru saja 45 mungkin. Aku putarkan kepalanya supaya matanya yang terjegil tidak lagi merenung aku. Aku harus segera bergerak mencari Alexandra sebelum terlambat.

SHE

I am standing here at this same spot.

The same spot I first met her two years ago. Tired, worried face and constantly checking her watch. I asked and offered help but was kindly rebuffed. Still I saw that she was in trouble. So, I stayed with her until help arrived. I was late for office that morning. Something out of character for me. But, I would be late for many other mornings as well, from then on.

During such mornings, for about half an hour, I get to speak to her. And as the days went by, I learned more about her. She worked the whole night. And sleep mostly in the day. She was someone's favorite. 'Someone important'. She told me she was tired of the whole thing but could not do anything. She was trapped in a situation she can't figure a way out. Truthfully, I think she was afraid to find a way out. I knew it was most likely because of her daughter. Her cute 3 year old girl who meant the whole world to her.

As we became more familiar, we talked more about ourselves. Things we were ready to share. I was always excited to hear about her little girl. She would show photos of her antics captured in her handphone. I enjoyed everyone of those photos.

We would talk until someone working for 'someone important' would arrive to fetch her. Back to her place she called her hideout. Away from the prying eyes. But, I corrected her, calling it her sanctuary. Where she can be herself; a lady and a mom. Those mornings continued for about a year until my health temporarily kept me away from those moments.

Not long after, troubles started to show their ugly faces. It wasn't surprising to me though, as she had forewarned me that this 'someone important' would not take kindly my knowing of her. The threats are nothing. It did nothing to me but made me more determined to resolve the issue at hand. But, soon the threat became physical.

Despite her strong protest, I turned to the authorities. Not for my safety, but for hers and her daughter. Soon after, they took them away, of course.  The police did. But, not before promising they will put away the source of the threat on her, her daughter and indirectly on me. It also meant that I won't be able to continue my morning chat with her. It was a small price to pay for her happiness and new lease of life. I promised her I wouldn't regret my decision.

It has been two years. And, although I know I won't see that face here, I will just find myself driving to this spot. Not wishing very hard, maybe, to see her sitting calmly sipping coffee, eager to show photos from her handphone. Smiling at me when I open the glass door. But, no. That won't happen.

Still, I am here anyway. Just to remember those times. Those moments. Moments when I was standing here with purpose.  At this spot. In the early morning like this.


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WHEN THE GAME ENDS

One day you'll wake up and realize that all the games that you played have reached the proverbial injury time. You'll realize that the ref and the linesmen would no longer be siding with you.

You will notice that the pitch could now be soggy and laden with water. The grass are too long. The ball is too soft. Your boots are one size bigger or smaller. 

And the crowd would not be cheering your every move anymore. But they be more discerning and judgemental. They will remember all the fouls you committed, all the fake dives, the hand's of God that you employ and the shirts you pulled. They will be less forgiving.

Then, it would be too late. To late for everything. Too late even for me to save you.

You can turn to me. But, I'll be waving the board with your number on it. And another number so you know that your time is up.

WHEN THE NIGHT GETS TOO COLD

Sometimes, when the night gets too cold, I would just wake up and I remember.

I remember the night the damn bike just would not do what I want it to do. The night the damn brake just would not grip strong enough. The night the stupid handle would not budge to the left enough. The night the deathly truck would not stop fast enough.

I remember holding you. I remember not knowing what to do. I don't know how to stop the gushing blood. I don't know how to keep you awake and your eyes to open. I don't know how to keep your labored breathing to continue. Or to last longer.

I remember holding you so close but feel that I'm losing you at the same time.

And, those nights when it gets too cold, I remember hugging your warm body getting cold. I remember my warm tears running down my cheeks and falling on your face getting cold.

I remember your warm smile telling me everything will be alright.
But, they never did.

So every night when it gets too cold, I will remember, always.


Natasha Nadia Wong :
Forever in memory

THINGS TO THINK

Abang has returned. For his summer vacation. Three months. Home in Malaysia. I was really looking forward to see him. Talk to him. Discuss things with him. Things that matter to him. And to me. Two guys talking.

However, it has been three weeks since he arrived. I have yet to do any of those that I wanted to do. Well, one or two maybe. But, not as I wanted it to be. I am seeing him less. In fact sometimes I forgot that he is home.

Every morning, I will leave early. He is not up yet. Even if he is awake, I will be too preoccupied with my morning routine to sit and chat a little with him. I learned from Ibu that occasionally he would send Acik to school and back home. He will drive my Black Proton to do that. At night, when I returned, late as always, he would be there in the living room, eyes glued to the computer. He would dutifully shake and kiss my hand. I would go up to change and pray, if I haven't in the office. Thereafter most likely I will check on Ibu and fall asleep quickly. Some time, I would be able to go down, chat a little with Abang and promptly fall asleep on the couch before I could say anything meaningful.

It has been almost 4 and a half month since I returned to work. New job and new demand. I didn't realise if it had changed me. People around me say so. People I know say so. I don't feel so but I must have. I feel so enthusiastic in things I have to deal daily that I'm lost in all of them. I need sometime or something to do always to reclaim my private space. I tend to value too much on spending my private time by myself that I am only aware the weekend is over when I woke up Monday morning. I don't seem to have time for others including those important to me. And I will forget the limitations that were imposed on me and continue with my pace that would worry those caring for me.

I can't stop. And, I am getting reckless.

DECISION MAKING

Adik's birthday is coming up. Ibu and I are busy thinking of what special gift to give him now that he is 16.

'He likes to listen to music. So, let's get him an ipod touch. His old ipod is already giving problem. Maybe he'll like a new one', Ibu suggested.

I am not too keen on giving him ipod, simply because he would then be lost in his own world. I know I would. I am more concerned that it was quite difficult to get in touch with him when he is outside with his friends or at school. The Blackberry he's using, the old worn out handed down by me seemed to have its own mind and preferred its own working hours. It is difficult then to reach Adik whenever we have to tell him of any change in plan or if there was gonna be some delay in picking him up due to one reason or another.

'I think it is better for him to get a new iphone. The phone would solve all these problem of communicating to him. And the iphone also has ipod facility, so that would address his current problem with his ipod', I tried to reason with Ibu.

But, Ibu being the ever Minister of Finance enforcing economic austerity programme that goes on forever came back to me with just this simple reply, 'But, iphone is more expensive than an ipod touch'.

So, I finally decided that Adik is big enough to decide on what he wants without us having to make his every decision.

I spoke with Adik, 'OK, this Sunday we go to Pavilion. You see what you like and tell us.'
'Alright Ayah', Adik looked relieved.
'Yea', Ibu said, short.

BROGA AND ME

Semenjak balik dari Kanada, aku sangat terminat untuk memanjat Bukit Broga di Semenyih. Bukitnya tak terlalu tinggi. Kalau orang asli mengukur, dia akan cakap tak sampai setengah batang rokok pon udah sampai ke atas. Tingginya hanya lebih kurang 400m sahaja. Tapi mempunyai 3 puncak yang tidak terlalu jauh antara satu sama lain. Namun begitu, aku cukup puashati jika aku hanya mencapai puncak pertama sahaja kerana pada aku tiada bezanya antara puncak pertama, kedua atau ketiga.

Aku tak tau kenapa aku terlalu tergoda dengan bukit yang tidak seberapa tinggi ni. Mungkin kerana mudahnya untuk mencapai ke puncak tanpa perlu mengeluarkan terlalu banyak peluh. Mungkin kerana panorama kehijauan yang mengelilingi laluan ke atas. Mungkin juga kerana udara bersihnya di pagi hari. Atau keceriaan pagi hening sebalik sinaran matahari yang muda. Mungkin juga kerana gelagat dan ragam manusia-manusia yang sama-sama memanjat bukit atas satu alasan ke satu alasan yang lain.

Rutin aku pula ialah aku akan memanjat samada pagi Sabtu atau Ahad. Sebaik selepas solat Subuh, aku akan akan terus memandu kereta menghala ke Semenyih berbekal sebotol air mineral, topi merah, iphone dengan koleksi lagu khusus untuk memanjat, tuala kecil dan Canon T2i aku. Selalunya dipuncak, aku akan mencari sudut terpencil bagi bersendiri, dengan earphone melekat dan DSLR di tangan. Aku suka merakam saat Matahari mulai naik di balik bukit, embun yang menutup hehujung pohon atau saja kelaku orang lain yang sedang memanjat atau mengelamun sendirian di puncak seperti aku.

Waktu aku bercuti lama dahulu pun, aku masih dapat memanjat dua atau tiga kali meskipun Doktor melarang. Hinggalah saat memang aku tak langsung dapat melakukannya selama hampir dua bulan yang mana kerinduan aku kepada nya amat memanggil-manggil. Bulan ketiga, aku sudah tak tertahan dan mula memanjat kembali. Kini, aku berusaha memanjat sekali seminggu selalunya di penghujung minggu. Pernah juga aku memanjat di hari orang sedang berkerja supaya aku dapat bersendirian dengan bukit itu, di pagi Hari Mengundi 2013 dan pada Hari Raya Cina. Aku paling tidak menyukai kalau terlalu ramai orang bersama memanjat kerana ini bermaksud akan banyak botol dan sampah sarap yang akan ditinggal manakala dahan-dahan mungkin mati dipetik oleh tangan-tangan yang gatal. Mungkin, satu hari nanti aku akan memanjat di waktu hampir senja dan melihat matahari jatuh.

Aku pernah mengajak Ibu memanjat sama, tapi kadang Ibu terlalu gayat untuk sampai ke atas dan hanya menunggu aku di bawah. Faim pernah juga ku bawa naik. Walau pun pada awalnya dia agak ragu-ragu tapi bujukan dan galakan aku berjaya juga melihat Faim sampai ke puncak.

'Isn't it great Faim, to reach the top?', tanya aku ingin memberi peransang dan galakan atas pencapaian Faim sampai ke puncak.
'Yeah', jawab Faim ringkas sambil mengunyah biskut bekalan Ibu.
'So, we come again next week?', tanya aku lagi.
'No, Ayah. Next week, in the morning I just want to climb down my bed. That's all!', jawab Faim selamba.
Aku pon diam.

10th ANNIVERSARY

Just a short one.

Never thought it could last this long. 

Baby Faim is now not a baby. A 10 year old boy whose preoccupation is Minecraft and Disney Channel. Adik is in his own teenage world, oblivious of everything else that's going around the house. Once in a while he would ask about current happenings ie the MH370 or situation in Ukraine.

Abang is proceeding well with his study at Carleton. His earlier plan to transfer to Vancouver had to be shelved for now. He seems happier these days. Abang is coming back this May. I can't wait to talk to my adult son.

Ibu is fine. Busy running the household. I am fine too. Got a new assignment. Slogging through.

Happy Anniversary my blogger friends. 

Here looking at all of you. Thank you.