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Stories for my three heroes.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

'Ayah, I hate William today', Zaim tiba-tiba memberitahu kepada aku masa buka puasa semalam. Semua yang sedang makan tertegun, berhenti sejenak. Mata Atok, Nenek dan Ibu beralih kepada aku. William salah seorang kawan baik Zaim.

Aku cuba bertenang. 'Why? What did he do? He's your best friend right!' aku bertanya, cuba mencari masa sambil berfikir.

'I can't tell you what he did exactly but he embarrased me at school', kata Zaim sambil mencebik.

Aku menghela nafas sambil cuba mengingat sesuatu.

'Zaim, sometimes in friendship people take things for granted, especially between close friends. People are so close that sometimes they did things without realising that the other guy's feeling might be hurt. Best friends do that once a while'.

'But i felt so embarrased', celah Zaim.

'True. You feel angry too. But, there's one good thing about friendship. You will learn that no matter how angry you were, after sometimes you tend to forgive because that bond of friendship is already there. Sometimes it could take just a day. Sometimes it could take years. You waited for years hoping that the friend would realise his mistake but he never did. You forgive him anyway. Friendship is to give and take, to forgive and to forget. If you can't do that, you actually were never friends in the first place', aku cepat-cepat menghabiskan ayat. Ikan pari bakar atas meja masih belum aku sentuh.

' Hmmmmm... ' Zaim berdiam sambil tangan dia pula menjamah ikan pari.

Aku sambung ceramah buka puasa,'You know what you should do tomorrow. You should go to William and tell him that he hurted you feeling today, but it is okay because you have forgiven him anyway. I am sure he will appreciate that and try not to repeat that same mistake' .

Zaim diam sejenak. Kemudian dia menggangkat muka dan tersengih. ' Thanks Ayah. Did you come up with all that by yourself or did you read that from those books of yours?'

'Maybe it's those books' jawab aku. Aku senyum dalam hati. My 37 year book on life.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Muhammad Alfaim telah selamat lahir pada 15 Oktober 2004.

Zaim dan Naim nampak gembira dengan kedatangan adik mereka.

Buat kali keduanya, aku bersama-sama Ibu dalam bilik bersalin. Dulu semasa Naim dilahirkan, aku berada di Osaka dan hanya dapat pulang seminggu selepas Naim lahir. Berada bersama-sama Ibu, aku menyaksikan betapa susahnya .. peritnya membawa seorang manusia ke dunia. Kebesaran Allah sahaja lah yang membolehkan semua itu.

Melihat semua itu, aku dapat memahami mengapa seorang Ibu itu lebih bereaksi kalau sesuatu berlaku berkaitan anak-anak itu. Lebih tegas dalam mendisiplinkan anak. Lebih kecewa kalau anak tidak memakan masakannya. Lebih marah kalau anak tidak mendengar kata. Lebih hampa kalau anak kecewa. Lebih gembira kalau anak berjaya.

Sebagai Ayah, aku bagaimana? Entahlah.... ada kalanya aku tidak bersetuju dengan Ibu kalau terlalu memarahi Zaim dan Naim atau terlalu tegas dengan mereka. Aku rasa aku perlu lebih menghormati keputusan Ibu.

Zaim, Naim dan sekarang Faim... tentu tugas Ibu lebih berat dan mencabar. Dan semestinya, tanggungjawab aku juga.

Alzaim bertanya kepada aku,' Ayah, Why must we fast?'.

Aku merenung wajahnya. Zaim sudah menjangkau sepuluh tahun. Rupanya pon sudah sedikit dewasa. Pemikiran dia pon sudah berbeza. Kalau dulu aku boleh bagi alasan yang nipis sekadar menjawab pertanyaan dia, kini dia akan terus bertanya sekiranya kurang berpuas hati dengan apa yang dijelaskan.

' We fast because it is demanded by our religion. We fast because our prophet, Muhammad SAW, taught us to fast. Allah wanted us to fast once a year. '

' Why?' tanya Zaim lagi.

' Fasting is supposed to cleanse ourselves, physically and spiritually. When we fast the load of food that we take regularly will decrease. This helps our internal body organs to recalibrate themselves, hence making them more resilient and us healthier. Spiritually, we learn and experienc ourselves the difficulty faced by people who are less fortunate. Who maybe eat once a day. Who have to undergo hunger almost daily', aku cuba menjawab sebanyak yang buleh.

' Like the people in Africa, Ayah?', tanya Zaim.

Aku angguk. ' We are supposed to feel how they feel. So that we know how fortunate we are. And we should always be thankful to Allah for our good fortune.' tambah aku lagi.

Zaim mendekati aku dan bercakap separuh berbisik, ' You know Ayah, I have been fasting for the past two bulan ramadan. I think it is not that difficult, i mean to be hungry for a day. It is not so bad. '

' That doesn't mean that you can't pity those who are less fortunate' kata ku. ' Personally, I think there must be deeper meaning to fasting than what we know. You see all major religions in the world practise fasting. There must be something more to it' .

Zaim mengangguk,'It's a secret alright. Allah's secret and He wants to keep it'.

Aku angguk balik.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

Awal bulan Oktober hari tu, aku bawa Naim balik JB untuk kenduri kawin adik aku. Oleh kerana kami berdua sahaja yang balik, kami naik kapal terbang. Dalam pesawat, Adik jadi talkative, bertanya itu ini.

' Ayah, you know sometimes when you ask me to follow you somewhere, I don't want to go. Sometimes because I am tired. Sometimes because I want to stay home.' kata dia merenung ke aku sambil memegang tangan aku.

'So how come you want to follow me this time to JB?' tanya aku saja nak tahu.

' cause I never go to JB for so long. Anyway, I like to go on a plane with you' jawab Naim ringkas.

Aku senyum sendirian.

'But Ayah, you know when I don't follow you, I still love you, you know. I LOVE YOU AYAH' kata Naim beria-ia.

Aku senyum lagi. Lebih lebar. Fikir aku, bukan selalu anak nak kata dia sayang kat kita, tanpa kita perlu bertanya terlebih dahulu.