Fifteen years ago in a largely unceremonious event sans protocol, I was conferred an important title. Deeply honoured, I accepted the title without really putting much thought of what awaits and how my life would change from that particular day onwards.
I was told that others before me were also entrusted with the same title and responsibility. To say that I didn’t deserve it, would be unkind to the graces of Allah. To say that I refused it, would be the most wrong thing to do. So, I accepted it, with my whole heart, body and soul. My humble person said that I could just go on doing what other people granted with the same privileges were doing.
About ten years ago, my struggle continued. Though I remained holding fast to that single honourable title, the responsibilities and expectation that came with it had increased, nearly doubled. I managed but occasionally, certain lapses did occur. This was especially true when I was faced with other demands from my new life, commanding more of my energy from pitiful soul. And all these trials and tribulations, tripled 5 years ago, and I started to question whether the title was eating me alive. Was it a curse to me as retribution for how I have treated those titled individuals before me.
But, I never despair. Never, never once I thought about giving up. Never ever have I expressed my regret. All I ever did when the chips were down, was to beg upon Him, to give me more strength to persevere. To never waver to those responsibilities and duties that started 15 years ago. Yes, at times the odds seemed insurmountable. That even with the combined superhuman strength of all earthly heroes, I felt like I can’t avoid feeling overwhelmed. But, good sense prevailed and I soldiered on.
15 years ago, at Chowdhury Maternity Hospital, I was conferred that title. Today, 15 years later, I am still standing. Maybe a little gaunt with broken parts and bruises here and there. My mission remains the same eventhough the challenges have evolved.
But, I will continue. For the sake of humanity. At the risk of my own sanity.
Happy Birthday, Abang.
God Help Me!
18.5 mo post partum!
5 days ago