I have been writing now for 9 years on these pages. Of course, as other demands becoming more demanding and frequent, the quality and frequency of my jottings suffered.
Anyhow, the kids have really grown up and have their own story to tell. So, I have actually been spending more time with Ibu. My faithful companion and friend who I know will always be there for me. The one I share all my joy and happiness as well as sorrow and worries for nearly 20 years. Humm... that would require another separate blog. But, never mind that now.
Abang has already left for his study abroad. He is coping well with his studies and the challenges of living on his own. Though, there are occasions when he would skype us about things that he wasn't sure about, Ibu and I would try very much to help ease his process of self-determination. I realise that his outlook on things and life has also undergone a little change here and there. Well, that should be expected, although sometimes as parents we feel a bit hurt when he really express his personal thoughts, but I always remind Ibu that we should not be worried so much but continue to give advice that hopefully would be accepted. I personally don't want to control his thoughts process as long as the original design on the white cloth are still neat and unblemished. In one of our conversation, he let us know that we are a pair of conservatives parents compared to his progressive views of the world. We just nodded.
Adik is the big brother at home now with Abang gone. With his teenage mood swing and his coping with the high school academic demands, Adik can be a tough challenge at times. However, after going with through with Abang, I know that I can handle Adik with a better and wiser approach. I have decided to allocate dedicated lunch sessions with Adik on most Sundays where I try to moderate his thoughts and behaviors. I know he is aware and trying very much to see our extra attention to him as something positive. I know that Abang occasionally chat with Adik on skype and give some wise words as well. He's playing my role, thank God. Nevertheless, Adik remains a bubbly boy and well loved by his friends. And definitely by us.
The smallest boy. Now that is another story. Nine years old this year. Baby Faim. He is the baby of the house though he is no longer a baby. Cheeky, mischievous and impish all in one. Loving and caring, always reminding me of his mom. Always eager to try something new. Swimming, piano, basketball, wipeout obsctacle course, fishing and boy does he love all the games on the computer. I no longer try to work on my PC on weekends anymore. I am certain that he is like Ibu in many ways when Ibu was that age.
Adik and Faim are the two boys at home now. As boys they will quarrel endlessly and they would be best of friends at other unexpected times. I learned to cope with their own created quality times.
As time goes by, I realize that I am more attached to them than they are to me. I am really looking forward to weekends and spending time with them. I would also ensure that I could take a day or two leave from work every month so I can see them on weekdays too. I enjoyed just taking a day off to send and pick them up from school just so I can spend those times with them, undivided. It is no longer them looking for me to spend some quality family time, but the other way around.
I am sure that by next year, I may not even have time to write very much what with the children having their own issues to deal with in their ever growing world. I just hope they would keep some small space for me and Ibu. but, these boys are my boys and I love them so much.
18.5 mo post partum!
2 days ago