DANCING IN THE DARK

Despite my really tired, totally exhausted condition, I forced Ibu to drive me to the Stadium to watch JDT game last Saturday. Ibu who has just arrived from picking up Faim from a friend's birthday party only had enough time to pray and a gulp of water.

'Don't worry I'll get you the usual burger from the Stadium', I said with full confidence.
Ibu just nodded and focussed on her driving while I directed her to our destination using Waze.

After not more than 30 minutes, the Waze informed us that 'you have reached your destination'.

I was confused. Something must be wrong.

Ibu quickly asked, 'why is the stadium dark, Ayah?'. Are you sure they are playing here?'.

I had to think fast. Quickly I checked FAM website. Several cars were slowing down and zipped by without stopping. Obviously as confused as we were.

Éh.. Ibu, they moved the venue to Selayang la. 'They are not playing here', I said quickly without raising my head.

Ibu laughed out very loud.

'Why are you laughing, Ibu', I asked slightly hurt.

'Well, I heard of Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark. But Playing Soccer in the Dark is totally brand new', Ibu answered.

I look out the window sheepishly and said, 'Let's just go'.

11 YEARS AND RUNNING

"That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town ...."  

It has been 11 long years.

Alfaim the baby in Ibu's tummy when this blog was first conceived is now getting to be 11. He is still a baby to us though. Adik soon will be 16. Slogging through his study.In a year and a half he will complete his high school and then another phase of his life will open up. He will remain a delightful challenge to us. Abang is doing as well as he could in his study at Carlton. He is coming back for the Summer holidays this May. I need to ensure that this time I'll have more time for him.

Ibu is still the same. A little older and much wiser. I can always avail myself of her wise counsel. I thank her for her able running of the household. While I could focus on my things to do.

Last year remain a tough one for me. I am still in recovery phase. Physically, I don't feel much different than a year before although every kind soul keeps reminding me to take things easy, lower paced. Occasionally, things that are unseen would disturb me. That's when I start to worry others. I think I can manage that now, difficultly.

After I left the hospital, and after two months of taking things slow, I began on a quest to do Broga. I climbed whenever I had the opportunity, weekends, public holidays or even when I was on sick leave.  My target; 52 Sundays since two September ago. Last September I achieved just that. And then ventured on  a another  forward looking self motivating journey. I started entering running events. My target is to collect 12 silverware to probably signify 12 months or another one year of survival. I have collected 9 so far and have 3 more running to complete before I probably go on another similarly natured quest.

Early this year, I lost a friend and a mentor. Same illness.

Here's looking at another year of a fulfilling life...

" For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. "

~ Forrest Gump

Faim the Defense Lawyer.

Aku menuruni cerun mengekori Faim yang mendahului di hadapan. Sambil merentas halangan kami juga menyelit sedikit sebanyak bercerita. Satu ketika kami berhenti rehat kerana Faim mahu meneguk Gatorade.

'You got another speeding ticket, Ayah?', tanya Faim.
'Yea', jawab aku pendek. Mesti Ibu yang kepohkan kepada dia ni.
'You better pay Ayah, or I will have to defend you in court later ', sahut Faim pula.
'You need a lot of training and experience before you can be a lawyer. But yes, I would want you to defend me. Err.. How you are you going to defend me? You plead guilty, and I ll go to jail?', tanya aku sambil sedikit tersengeh kepada Faim.

'Well, I think I have a good defense for all your speeding', jawab Faim sambil menyerah kembali Gatorade ungu kepada aku.
'What is it?', tanya aku sambil menyambut dan menyimpan botol pada bag yang aku galas.

'Muscle spasm', jawab Faim selamba sambil berpaling meneruskan perjalanan.

Aku bangkit dan mengekori Faim sambil ketawa dalam hati.

Alexandra

Aku bergegas menuruni bukit menuju ke arah belakang. Lutut kanan aku yang merah berdarah melambatkan gerakan aku. Aku tidak peduli. Bukan sebab ia tidak menyakitkan, Tetapi luka dan cedera di lain-lain bahagian badan membuat aku tidak memperdulikan.

Jauh di sebelah kanan, berkepul-kepul asap dari loji  Normanton yang terbakar meluru dan menutup pemandangan dan menyesakkan paru-paru. Tapi, aku tidak punya masa untuk meneliti itu semua. Aku harus segera sampai ke Alexandra.

Akhirnya aku sampai juga. Tapi aku sudah terlambat. Mereka sudah lebih awal tiba dari aku. Kedengaran suara-suara halus menjerit dalam kesakitan dan ketakutan, meminta tolong. Aku tak tau samada itu suara pesakit atau suara jururawat. Mungkin antaranya suara Alexandra.

'Alexi, di mana kau', aku bertanya dalam hati sambil mengagahkan langkah aku masuk dari ruangan tepi rumah sakit. Tangan aku memegang erat belati Kepten Rix. Darah masih mengalir deras dari kaki kanan ku meninggal jejak garisan merah.

Perlahan aku menolak daun pintu dan melangkah dengan sangat berhati-hati. Melihat ke dalam, aku tidak terkejut. Badan-badan yang kaku bergelimpangan dan berselerakan. Darah merah seolah tersimbah di serata penjuru. Hasil tangan anak buah Mutaguchi. Aku yakin.

Aku sentuh salah satu sosok yang tergelimpang. Suam-suam. Baru saja 45 mungkin. Aku putarkan kepalanya supaya matanya yang terjegil tidak lagi merenung aku. Aku harus segera bergerak mencari Alexandra sebelum terlambat.

SHE

I am standing here at this same spot.

The same spot I first met her two years ago. Tired, worried face and constantly checking her watch. I asked and offered help but was kindly rebuffed. Still I saw that she was in trouble. So, I stayed with her until help arrived. I was late for office that morning. Something out of character for me. But, I would be late for many other mornings as well, from then on.

During such mornings, for about half an hour, I get to speak to her. And as the days went by, I learned more about her. She worked the whole night. And sleep mostly in the day. She was someone's favorite. 'Someone important'. She told me she was tired of the whole thing but could not do anything. She was trapped in a situation she can't figure a way out. Truthfully, I think she was afraid to find a way out. I knew it was most likely because of her daughter. Her cute 3 year old girl who meant the whole world to her.

As we became more familiar, we talked more about ourselves. Things we were ready to share. I was always excited to hear about her little girl. She would show photos of her antics captured in her handphone. I enjoyed everyone of those photos.

We would talk until someone working for 'someone important' would arrive to fetch her. Back to her place she called her hideout. Away from the prying eyes. But, I corrected her, calling it her sanctuary. Where she can be herself; a lady and a mom. Those mornings continued for about a year until my health temporarily kept me away from those moments.

Not long after, troubles started to show their ugly faces. It wasn't surprising to me though, as she had forewarned me that this 'someone important' would not take kindly my knowing of her. The threats are nothing. It did nothing to me but made me more determined to resolve the issue at hand. But, soon the threat became physical.

Despite her strong protest, I turned to the authorities. Not for my safety, but for hers and her daughter. Soon after, they took them away, of course.  The police did. But, not before promising they will put away the source of the threat on her, her daughter and indirectly on me. It also meant that I won't be able to continue my morning chat with her. It was a small price to pay for her happiness and new lease of life. I promised her I wouldn't regret my decision.

It has been two years. And, although I know I won't see that face here, I will just find myself driving to this spot. Not wishing very hard, maybe, to see her sitting calmly sipping coffee, eager to show photos from her handphone. Smiling at me when I open the glass door. But, no. That won't happen.

Still, I am here anyway. Just to remember those times. Those moments. Moments when I was standing here with purpose.  At this spot. In the early morning like this.


PS : 

Last New Visitor

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WHEN THE GAME ENDS

One day you'll wake up and realize that all the games that you played have reached the proverbial injury time. You'll realize that the ref and the linesmen would no longer be siding with you.

You will notice that the pitch could now be soggy and laden with water. The grass are too long. The ball is too soft. Your boots are one size bigger or smaller. 

And the crowd would not be cheering your every move anymore. But they be more discerning and judgemental. They will remember all the fouls you committed, all the fake dives, the hand's of God that you employ and the shirts you pulled. They will be less forgiving.

Then, it would be too late. To late for everything. Too late even for me to save you.

You can turn to me. But, I'll be waving the board with your number on it. And another number so you know that your time is up.

WHEN THE NIGHT GETS TOO COLD

Sometimes, when the night gets too cold, I would just wake up and I remember.

I remember the night the damn bike just would not do what I want it to do. The night the damn brake just would not grip strong enough. The night the stupid handle would not budge to the left enough. The night the deathly truck would not stop fast enough.

I remember holding you. I remember not knowing what to do. I don't know how to stop the gushing blood. I don't know how to keep you awake and your eyes to open. I don't know how to keep your labored breathing to continue. Or to last longer.

I remember holding you so close but feel that I'm losing you at the same time.

And, those nights when it gets too cold, I remember hugging your warm body getting cold. I remember my warm tears running down my cheeks and falling on your face getting cold.

I remember your warm smile telling me everything will be alright.
But, they never did.

So every night when it gets too cold, I will remember, always.


Natasha Nadia Wong :
Forever in memory

THINGS TO THINK

Abang has returned. For his summer vacation. Three months. Home in Malaysia. I was really looking forward to see him. Talk to him. Discuss things with him. Things that matter to him. And to me. Two guys talking.

However, it has been three weeks since he arrived. I have yet to do any of those that I wanted to do. Well, one or two maybe. But, not as I wanted it to be. I am seeing him less. In fact sometimes I forgot that he is home.

Every morning, I will leave early. He is not up yet. Even if he is awake, I will be too preoccupied with my morning routine to sit and chat a little with him. I learned from Ibu that occasionally he would send Acik to school and back home. He will drive my Black Proton to do that. At night, when I returned, late as always, he would be there in the living room, eyes glued to the computer. He would dutifully shake and kiss my hand. I would go up to change and pray, if I haven't in the office. Thereafter most likely I will check on Ibu and fall asleep quickly. Some time, I would be able to go down, chat a little with Abang and promptly fall asleep on the couch before I could say anything meaningful.

It has been almost 4 and a half month since I returned to work. New job and new demand. I didn't realise if it had changed me. People around me say so. People I know say so. I don't feel so but I must have. I feel so enthusiastic in things I have to deal daily that I'm lost in all of them. I need sometime or something to do always to reclaim my private space. I tend to value too much on spending my private time by myself that I am only aware the weekend is over when I woke up Monday morning. I don't seem to have time for others including those important to me. And I will forget the limitations that were imposed on me and continue with my pace that would worry those caring for me.

I can't stop. And, I am getting reckless.

DECISION MAKING

Adik's birthday is coming up. Ibu and I are busy thinking of what special gift to give him now that he is 16.

'He likes to listen to music. So, let's get him an ipod touch. His old ipod is already giving problem. Maybe he'll like a new one', Ibu suggested.

I am not too keen on giving him ipod, simply because he would then be lost in his own world. I know I would. I am more concerned that it was quite difficult to get in touch with him when he is outside with his friends or at school. The Blackberry he's using, the old worn out handed down by me seemed to have its own mind and preferred its own working hours. It is difficult then to reach Adik whenever we have to tell him of any change in plan or if there was gonna be some delay in picking him up due to one reason or another.

'I think it is better for him to get a new iphone. The phone would solve all these problem of communicating to him. And the iphone also has ipod facility, so that would address his current problem with his ipod', I tried to reason with Ibu.

But, Ibu being the ever Minister of Finance enforcing economic austerity programme that goes on forever came back to me with just this simple reply, 'But, iphone is more expensive than an ipod touch'.

So, I finally decided that Adik is big enough to decide on what he wants without us having to make his every decision.

I spoke with Adik, 'OK, this Sunday we go to Pavilion. You see what you like and tell us.'
'Alright Ayah', Adik looked relieved.
'Yea', Ibu said, short.

BROGA AND ME

Semenjak balik dari Kanada, aku sangat terminat untuk memanjat Bukit Broga di Semenyih. Bukitnya tak terlalu tinggi. Kalau orang asli mengukur, dia akan cakap tak sampai setengah batang rokok pon udah sampai ke atas. Tingginya hanya lebih kurang 400m sahaja. Tapi mempunyai 3 puncak yang tidak terlalu jauh antara satu sama lain. Namun begitu, aku cukup puashati jika aku hanya mencapai puncak pertama sahaja kerana pada aku tiada bezanya antara puncak pertama, kedua atau ketiga.

Aku tak tau kenapa aku terlalu tergoda dengan bukit yang tidak seberapa tinggi ni. Mungkin kerana mudahnya untuk mencapai ke puncak tanpa perlu mengeluarkan terlalu banyak peluh. Mungkin kerana panorama kehijauan yang mengelilingi laluan ke atas. Mungkin juga kerana udara bersihnya di pagi hari. Atau keceriaan pagi hening sebalik sinaran matahari yang muda. Mungkin juga kerana gelagat dan ragam manusia-manusia yang sama-sama memanjat bukit atas satu alasan ke satu alasan yang lain.

Rutin aku pula ialah aku akan memanjat samada pagi Sabtu atau Ahad. Sebaik selepas solat Subuh, aku akan akan terus memandu kereta menghala ke Semenyih berbekal sebotol air mineral, topi merah, iphone dengan koleksi lagu khusus untuk memanjat, tuala kecil dan Canon T2i aku. Selalunya dipuncak, aku akan mencari sudut terpencil bagi bersendiri, dengan earphone melekat dan DSLR di tangan. Aku suka merakam saat Matahari mulai naik di balik bukit, embun yang menutup hehujung pohon atau saja kelaku orang lain yang sedang memanjat atau mengelamun sendirian di puncak seperti aku.

Waktu aku bercuti lama dahulu pun, aku masih dapat memanjat dua atau tiga kali meskipun Doktor melarang. Hinggalah saat memang aku tak langsung dapat melakukannya selama hampir dua bulan yang mana kerinduan aku kepada nya amat memanggil-manggil. Bulan ketiga, aku sudah tak tertahan dan mula memanjat kembali. Kini, aku berusaha memanjat sekali seminggu selalunya di penghujung minggu. Pernah juga aku memanjat di hari orang sedang berkerja supaya aku dapat bersendirian dengan bukit itu, di pagi Hari Mengundi 2013 dan pada Hari Raya Cina. Aku paling tidak menyukai kalau terlalu ramai orang bersama memanjat kerana ini bermaksud akan banyak botol dan sampah sarap yang akan ditinggal manakala dahan-dahan mungkin mati dipetik oleh tangan-tangan yang gatal. Mungkin, satu hari nanti aku akan memanjat di waktu hampir senja dan melihat matahari jatuh.

Aku pernah mengajak Ibu memanjat sama, tapi kadang Ibu terlalu gayat untuk sampai ke atas dan hanya menunggu aku di bawah. Faim pernah juga ku bawa naik. Walau pun pada awalnya dia agak ragu-ragu tapi bujukan dan galakan aku berjaya juga melihat Faim sampai ke puncak.

'Isn't it great Faim, to reach the top?', tanya aku ingin memberi peransang dan galakan atas pencapaian Faim sampai ke puncak.
'Yeah', jawab Faim ringkas sambil mengunyah biskut bekalan Ibu.
'So, we come again next week?', tanya aku lagi.
'No, Ayah. Next week, in the morning I just want to climb down my bed. That's all!', jawab Faim selamba.
Aku pon diam.

10th ANNIVERSARY

Just a short one.

Never thought it could last this long. 

Baby Faim is now not a baby. A 10 year old boy whose preoccupation is Minecraft and Disney Channel. Adik is in his own teenage world, oblivious of everything else that's going around the house. Once in a while he would ask about current happenings ie the MH370 or situation in Ukraine.

Abang is proceeding well with his study at Carleton. His earlier plan to transfer to Vancouver had to be shelved for now. He seems happier these days. Abang is coming back this May. I can't wait to talk to my adult son.

Ibu is fine. Busy running the household. I am fine too. Got a new assignment. Slogging through.

Happy Anniversary my blogger friends. 

Here looking at all of you. Thank you.

ADIK AND THEATER

Minggu lepas Ibu minta aku hadir persembahan teater Adik di sekolah kerana Ibu perlu bawa Faim ke majlis ulangtahun kawan Faim di seberang KL, jauh dari sekolah. Oleh kerana aku memang minat teater, terutamanya yang bersifat 'experimental', maka aku pon bersetuju.

Mengikut programnya, Adik diarah berada di sekolah selama 24 jam untuk mempersiap diri bagi latihan kepada Teater tersebut yang dipanggil 24hr Theater. Ke semuanya ada sebanyak 14 mini teater yang berdurasi antara 5-10 minit. Aku dapati Adik terlibat secara langsung dalam 2 persembahan yang mana salah satunya dia memain peran utama. Dan, sememangnya aku menikmati ke semua teater yang dipersembahkan di samping cuba memahami maksud tersirat yang ingin disampaikan.

Aku memang lama ingin Adik melibatkan kegiatan seni teater dan seni lakon ini. Pada hemat aku, Adik ada ketokohan dalam bidang ini kerana dia mudah membuat kami terhibur dengan kelakuan dia semasa dia sedang membesar dahulu. Lagipun, pada aku Adik ni jenis yang suka kepada benda-benda ringan dan menghiburkan tidak seperti Abang yang lebih serius dan intens perawakannya. 

Selesai semua persembahan, aku menunggu Adik di kereta. Nampak dia berjalan dengan kawan-kawan sambil tersenyum riang dan bergurau senda. Aku dapat merasa kebangaan Adik dan kawan-kawan ke atas kejayaan penghasilan teater tersebut. Dalam kereta aku cuba mengukur sejauh mana minat Adik kepada bidang teater ini.

' Dik, that was a great show. I enjoyed it so much especially your second performance. Can you explain a bit to me', tanya aku.

' Thank you Ayah. The second one where everyone seemed to carry the boxes and moving them to different places on the stage refer to the competing demands and priorities we put on our lives. Sometimes, we put education up front. or Health and maybe security. At other times, they are at the back. Ocassionally we put two or three boxes together to show how equally important they are to us at certain particular time in our life', jawab Adik panjang lebar. 

' Oh, yea. I guess that much also. Umm will you continue with this. You can make a career out of it you know ', aku cuba menduga sedalam mana minat Adik.

'I am not sure. Maybe. But what is important is that I have done this', jawab Adik.

'You know, sometimes the play call for a kissing scene and you have to do it', aku cuba mengusik Adik dengan menambah 'inducement' yang tak lojik.

' What are you trying to say, Ayah ', jawab Adik menjeling tajam kepada aku.

' Well, at the rate you are going, that could be the only way you get a girl to kiss you. Only through a teater. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA', aku gelak sebesar-besarnya.

' Hey, that's not fair', jawab Adik sebelum tergelak sama.

TIME FOR YOU AND ME

Dua tiga hari lepas, aku balik awal dari pejabat. Saja la nak balik awal sebab selalunya aku  balik lepas Maghrib. Lepas, mandi, solat dan makan, aku duduk depan TV menonton Astro Awani. Terdengar suara Ibu menegur Faim, ' Go find something to do, don't just main komputer aja '.

Kesian pulak aku tengok Faim. Musti dia sedang bosan dan tak tahu nak buat apa. Aku pon panggil Faim naik dan bertanya,' Do you want to play Chess, Faim?'.

Mata Faim bersinar-sinar dan dia mengganguk-angguk kepala tanda bersetuju.

'OK, let's set up the board, I'll be black', jawab aku.

Kami pun sama-sama menyusun buah-buah catur dan bermain. Faim pernah dulu mengambil kelas asas bermain catur jadi dalam acuh tak acuh, ada la juga kami bermain hampir setengah jam sebelum Faim akhirnya memberi kemenangan kepada aku kerana Permaisurinya telah dijadikan santapan.

'Do you want to play again, Ayah', tanya Faim sambil merenung ke muka aku.
'Hmm maybe not Faim. I want to continue watching the news', jawab aku.
'OK', jawab Faim pendek tanpa banyak kesah.

'I think that's enough time entertaining you, right', tambah aku tersenyum.
Faim mendongak dan menjawab, 'Actually Ayah, I am entertaining you. I know you must be bored'.
Selamba Faim.

9th ANNIVERSARY RAMBLE

I have been writing now for 9 years on these pages. Of course, as other demands becoming more demanding and frequent, the quality and frequency of my jottings suffered.

Anyhow, the kids have really grown up and have their own story to tell.  So, I have actually been spending more time with Ibu. My faithful companion and friend who I know will always be there for me. The one I share all my joy and happiness as well as sorrow and worries for nearly 20 years.  Humm... that would require another separate blog. But, never mind that now.

Abang has already left for his study abroad. He is coping well with his studies and the challenges of living on his own. Though, there are occasions when he would skype us about things that he wasn't sure about, Ibu and I would try very much to help ease his process of self-determination. I realise that his outlook on things and life has also undergone a little change here and there. Well, that should be expected, although sometimes as parents we feel a bit hurt when he really express his personal thoughts, but I always remind Ibu that we should not be worried so much but continue to give advice that hopefully would be accepted. I personally don't want to control his thoughts process as long as the original design on the white cloth are still neat and unblemished. In one of our conversation, he let us know that we are a pair of conservatives parents compared to his progressive views of the world. We just nodded.

Adik is the big brother at home now with Abang gone. With his teenage mood swing and his coping with the high school academic demands, Adik can be a tough challenge at times. However, after going with through with Abang, I know that I can handle Adik with a better and wiser approach. I have decided to allocate dedicated lunch sessions with Adik on most Sundays where I try to moderate his thoughts and behaviors. I know he is aware and trying very much to see our extra attention to him as something positive. I know that Abang occasionally chat with Adik on skype and give some wise words as well. He's playing my role, thank God. Nevertheless, Adik remains a bubbly boy and well loved by his friends. And definitely by us.

The smallest boy. Now that is another story. Nine years old this year. Baby Faim. He is the baby of the house though he is no longer a baby. Cheeky, mischievous and impish all in one. Loving and caring, always reminding me of his mom. Always eager to try something new. Swimming, piano, basketball, wipeout obsctacle course, fishing and boy does he love all the games on the computer. I no longer try to work on my PC on weekends anymore. I am certain that he is like Ibu in many ways when Ibu was that age.

Adik and Faim are the two boys at home now. As boys they will quarrel endlessly and they would be best of friends at other unexpected times. I learned to cope with their own created quality times.

As time goes by, I realize that I am more attached to them than they are to me. I am really looking forward to weekends and spending time with them. I would also ensure that I could take a day or two leave from work every month so I can see them on weekdays too. I enjoyed just taking a day off to send and pick them up from school just so I can spend those times with them, undivided. It is no longer them looking for me to spend some quality family time, but the other way around.

 I am sure that by next year, I may not even have time to write very much what with the children having their own issues to deal with in their ever growing world. I just hope they would keep some small space for me and Ibu. but, these boys are my boys and I love them so much.

LETTING GO

Shazzam(aka Chitty to others in the house) had once again displayed her canny ability as a predator cat. If usually, she would bring back lizards or moths home to show us, today she brought back a sparrow or 'burung pipit' to some of us nationalists at heart.

Ibu and Faim who saw Shazzam, quickly chased her away and forced her to drop the almost still bird. Faim nearly cried looking at the bird while Ibu examine the bird and saw some puncture marks on the bird's chest. Quickly Ibu took the all purpose super elixir, minyak gamat, and rub it all over. Impatient Faim kept asking Ibu if the bird was still alive. The bird was barely alive. We have the technology to make it first bionic bird. 

Ibu instructed Faim to put the bird inside Shazzam carrying cage and hide her in Nenek's room. Just in case that dastardly Shazzam cat would come again and snuff it out for good. Ibu is definitely unhappy with Shazzam's showing off her natural talent and scolded her at every opportunity with Faim adding more reprimands immediately.

Anyhow, by the next morning, the bird appeared well enough and started to move around in the cage. Faim, the unappointed care giver, busied himself gicing bird seeds, water and warm cloth for the bird's comfort. By mid afternnon, the bird, a she according to Faim, has a name already. Lucy although Faim insisted it is spelled Luse. Faim started to miss his hourly dose of cartoon network on TV and minecraft on the computer.  He doted on the bird and nearly sleep with it in bed.

On the third day, the bird was seen eating and drinking properly. Faim was happy but. Shazzam was still lurking and looking for opportunity to finish off his thwarted effort two days earlier. Finally, when Faim was in the toilet, Shazzam managed to show her face to the bird causing havoc inside the cage. Faim came and chased Shazzam away. He understood the bird would be in constant mortal danger from Shazzam. Maybe a heart attack from seeing Shazzam face could kill her anytime. So, he came to Ibu and asked to release Luse in the park.

And she was freed that afternoon in the hot sun.

MONEY TALK

Semenjak kerajaan memperkenalkan duit kertas dan syiling baru, aku suka mengumpulnya dan menyimpan untuk Faim. Setiap kali aku membuat pembelian di kedai atau restoren, dan apabila mendapat pulangan duit syiling warna emas atau wang kertas baru, aku akan simpan dan masukkan ke kotak yang Faim guna untuk simpan duit dia. Kadang walaupun aku ada duit kecil, tapi sengaja aku bayar dengan duit yang lebih besar semata-mata untuk mendapat peluang menerima duit baru.

Bagi tempoh lebih kurang sebulan yang lepas, aku kira aku dah letak duit baru kertas dan syiling sebanyak lebih kurang tiga ratus dalam kotak Faim. Risau yang duit itu akan hilang atau terbelanja, Ibu mencadangkan supaya jumlah tersebut dimasukkan ke Bank. Jadi kami pon berusaha memujuk Faim supaya duit tersebut kami simpankan. Perangai Faim ini pulak, dia suka duit tu berada di depan mata supaya kadang kala dia dapat melihat dan membelek koleksi simpanan dia seolah-olah seperti hobi orang menyimpan stem. Puas kami memujuk tapi Faim masih kurang bersetuju. Bermacam alasan aku berikan namun Faim juga dapat berikan lebih alasan balas. 

'Come on Faim, it's better that we keep in the Bank so they won't get lost', pujuk aku hampir nak mengalah.

'No need Ayah. The money likes it here in the box', jawab Faim mengarut.

'What? How do you know?', aku tanya Faim sambil mengerut dahi.

'They told me. Money can talk you know, Ayah', jawab Faim selamba.

'Faim, don't tell a lie', Ibu mengeraskan suara dan  mula nak naik angin.

'Well, if you don't believe me come here and listen,' jawab Faim. 

Faim ambil sekeping wang kertas seringgit dan menayangkan gambar YDP Agong kepada kami. Kemudian dia gerak-gerakkan duit tersebut sambil cuba bercakap dengan menutup mulut.

' Hello Ayah and Ibu Faim. Please don't take me to the Bank. I like it here in the box. It's warm', dengar keluar dari dalam kerongkong dia sambil mulut dia terherot-herot macam aksi Mahadi dan Jalud dulu.

Aku dengan Ibu tertawa terbahak-bahak. Melihat kami ketawa, Faim pon menambah lagi dialognya.

'By the way Ayah and Ibu, sometimes we feel lonely here in the box, so please add more of our friends inside', kata Faim lagi dengan selamba.

Kami pon terus tergelak-gelak sampai sakit perut. Hari duit baru semua tak jadi berpindah ke Bank.

GOING AWAY

I know I have not been writing anything. For quite some time. It was by choice as imposed on me by circumstances of my choosing. Lot's of things have been going on that should be things that would inspire acceptable entries here but it just so much that I was paralyzed by them all. Well, for the first time after more than 8 years, I did not have any entry on the annual anniversary of the blog. I missed a lot of things. But I never regret as my attention was divided on the many things including on Abang's future.

Abang is now attending a University abroad. After we arrived back here, we spent the whole of the remaining year and the earlier half of this year to ensure he successfully complete his final year of High School and gain entrance into a University of his choice. He did, both. Alhamdulilah.

For this I am really thankful to Allah. My prayers, our prayers are always for him to perform well and never forget his roots. A few weeks ago, I managed to pay a visit to see how he was doing. Alhamdulilah, he has settled down and looked very much like any college kid (reminded me of myself too). Well it just a few weeks but I pray and hope that he would remain that same hardworking boy and respectful to others as he has always been.

Before I left him, I was reminded of some wise words that my father told me before I took the plane 24 years ago. Though I tried to sound as wise, but I only managed to say, ' Be a good boy '. I hugged him and waved as I passed the security check. That's all I could say, ' Be a good boy'.

GOING OUT

'Ayah, may I go out to meet my friend, today', tanya Abang kepada aku sedang aku menikmati makanan pagi dengan Ibu. Semenjak Abang tergolong dalam kategori penganggur dalam musim cuti sekolah ini, Abang semakin kerap keluar bertemu dengan kawan-kawan sekolah dia yang senasib.

'Whatever do you guys do when you meet each other? Teasing girls?', aku mengusik sambil merenung Ibu. Ibu hanya diam sambil menghirup MILO perlahan-perlahan. Nenek yang sedang mengelap piring dan cawan di sinki terhenti dan menoleh sedikit ke belakang, mencuri dengar.

'No la Ayah. We just hang out and chit-chat. Then we eat and leave', jawab Abang.
'Oh that's just like what I used to do when I was your aged. I thought there should be more progress now that you guys are in this technology age. By the way, weren't you guys chatting almost everyday through the internet', aku menjawab kepada Abang.
'Oh, I thought you say that kids nowadays lack human interactions, so...', Abang cepat menajwab ibarat seorang peguam.
'OK la Bang, you can go', aku mengalah. Aku terlihat Nenek seolah menghela nafas dan menyambung semula kerja. Sekejap kemudian aku lihat Nenek pergi ke almari mengambil sesuatu dan merapati Abang sambil memberi kepada Abang.

'What's that Bang?', aku bertanya.
'Nenek give me money, 50 ringgit', jawab Abang sambil membuka gengaman tangan menunjuk duit dari Nenek.
'Eh Apa ni Nenek?', aku tanya Nenek yang tersipu-sipu.
'Takpalaaaa', jawab Nenek dan menyambung semula kerja mengemas.

'Nenek, when Ibu was Abang's age, did he get all these special treatment?', aku tanya Nenek, mengusik. Ibu hanya tersengeh.
'No la. It's different la, Ibu was my daughter, a girl. Must jaga la', jawab Nenek sungguh.

Ibu terus mencelah, ' See, I told you!'.

Kami semua tertawa dan ketawa. Abang lagi la besar ketawanya.

GOING

Cuti sekolah bermula lebih awal bagi Faim.

Sepatutnya dia bersekolah lagi seminggu tetapi Nenek telah membuat program sendiri dengan Faim, dengan persetujuan aku dan Ibu.

'So, how many days, Faim?', tanya aku dengan Ibu serentak. Kami memandang muka Faim.
'Ten. I told you so many times', jawab Faim. Menunduk muka tanpa memandang kepada kami.
'Will you miss us?', Ibu tanya lagi. Sengaja nak menduga.
'Well it depends!', Faim jawab selamba.
Kami kehairanan. 'Depends on what?', Ibu pulak bertanya.
'Well, it depends on whether all of you will miss me or not', Faim menjawab selamba. Tapi dia masih tidak memandang kepada kami.
'Of course, we will. My baby going away for so long.', Ibu menjawab sambil mengusap kepala Faim. Faim cuba mengelak dan beralih ke aku. Aku cuma diam sahaja kali ini.
'OK.. I will miss you,................... maybe', Faim tersengeh sedikit. Mengusik kami pula.

'Ayah, why you so quiet?', Ibu tanya sambil mencuit bahu aku.
'Oh nothing. Just wondering. Faim.. could get me a jersey. Err FC Panathinaikos', aku tanya kepada Faim.

Ibu menoleh segera ke aku.
'Hey Ayah.. Anak nak pergi ni, dia pikir itu pulak', tegur Ibu.
Aku hanya tersenyum. Aku peluk Faim.

THE END

Abang secara rasminya telah menjadi satu statistik ekonomi.

'What do you mean, Ayah?', tanya Abang kehairanan bila aku beritahu kan perkara ini kepada dia.

' Well as of last Friday, you are now economically categorized as the unemployed. Your economic status is the same as Tok Bak, Atuk, Nenek, the guy who sits all day at the mamak stall and soon   the Coach of MU... maybe, hehehe' jawab aku mengusik.

'But, I just finished school', jawab Abang selamba sahaja.

'Right, so could you help around the house a little bit. Maybe a little sweeping, farming or chicken rearing?..', aku mengusik Abang lagi. 

'Yeah, OK', jawab Abang lagi. 

Dia tau aku mengusik dan  tentunya sengaja buat endah tak endah dengan gurauan aku. Dia dah masak dengan telatah Ayah dia. Tapi sebenarnya aku berbangga bahawa setelah 13 tahun bersekolah di tiga negara berbeza, Abang akhirnya berhasil menamatkan persekolahannya. Jumaat lepas aku bersama Ibu, Adik, Faim dan Nenek bersama-sama menemani Abang semasa Majlis Tamat Persekolahan dan Penerimaan Diploma Sekolah Tinggi dia. Abang aku lihat sangat gembira dan sering bertepuk tangan dengan kawan-kawan dia. Sungguh meriah sekali majlisnya berbanding dengan masa aku habis sekolah dahulu.

Seingat aku, masa aku tamat sekolah dulu, err lebih kurang berpuluh-puluh tahun yang lepas, takda pon majlis-majlis seperti ini. Rasa aku hari terakhir sekolah aku ialah sebaik sahaja aku selesai dengan peperiksaan lukisan masa SPM. Aku rasa aku terus balik rumah dan tidor. Dan terus tidor sampai keputusan SPM keluar. 

'Ayah.. hey Ayah, wake up. Stop that dreaming about your graduation', Abang mengejutkan aku dari lamunan.

Aku tersenyum dan melihat Abang sudah siap bertukar pakaian untuk membuat persembahan gendang Cina. Kami saling bertepukan memberi Abang semangat semasa persembahan gendang tersebut. Selesai sahaja, Abang terus mengajak aku dan yang lain-lain balik.

'You sure you don't want to hang around with your friends..?', aku tanya Abang.

'No', jawab Abang yang nampak sedikit keletihan tetapi terpancar kepuasan di muka.

'How about your special friend?', aku sekali lagi cuba mengusik.

'What special friend? No la ', jawab Abang.

'Anyway, our group is going to Pangkor this Monday, remember. And you promised to send me to Puduraya', Abang mengingatkan aku.

'Oh yes', jawab aku mengaru kepala.

'And you promised to take me for Dim Sum this Sunday..', Abang ingatkan yang satu lagi.

'Yea yea I remember', aku mengaru kepala kuat sedikit sambil mencapai kunci kereta dari Ibu.